Congress is Awesome

So it's been forever since I've posted anything- nobody may look at this again but I'm going to keep posting! So just had to tell my awesome Congress story for today. So Congress gave us the ok to spend $35M for one of our fun-filled activities. Problem is- we don't have $35M to spend. So we told Congress that we were ok if they took away the ok to spend the money. Did they take it away? No- they raised the ok to $50 MILLION DOLLARS!! Thanks Congress- appreciate your continued listening skills.

This is why Congressional hearings suck

I hate hearings more than anything!! You want to know what is involved in preparing for a Congressional hearing? You have to write the testimony- which is nerve-wracking to begin with. Then you have to have like five different agencies clear it (oh p.s. the hearing's on Wednesday and I got mine back today like 50% re-written). Then I have to prep the bossman who wants to add in like 10 different random other things. Then you have to come up with the written copy submitted for the record and the shorter version that is delivered from your testimony. Oh ps and on top of all of that you have to pull together a really great prep book with everything they ever need to know about the topic. Then you have to sit in the hearing with your teeth clenched while your boss delivers your testimony- then it goes to anarchy because Congress gets to ask random questions of your bosses and you have to hope you prepped them enough to answer the questions well. It's crazy stressful. Today was awesome- I was so stressed out that I totally almost cried in front of my boss. Then I got that awesome look of "oh emotionally unstable one- don't freak out." Nice. I HATE that I have a habit of crying when I'm really pissed off or am absurdly stressed. Worst trait ever!!

Mr. Affleck goes to Washington

So it's bad enough that I have to prepare for a hearing in front of the full House Armed Services Committee on Congo...(I'm not testifying- I just have to write the testimony and prep the boss man) but now we have to add Ben Affleck to the equation. Apparently he's going to be on our panel at the hearing. No pressure on me...just a ton more scrutiny on the issue and the testimony that I have to write. I'm not stressed at all (insert sarcasm here). Keep an eye out on the 19th!!

I bought into the hype

So yesterday was the MOVEDC event put on by the organization, Invisible Children. These are the gents that gave us the Kony2012 phenomenon. MOVEDC was a rally of about 10k kids at the DC Convention Center and then a walk on the White House. This was the only time in my life where I was actually in the VIP section (they have to like me- they want our peeps to stay deployed in central Africa). I totally have to give it to the Invisible Children people...they put on a good event. Even I was all inspired and cheering for getting Kony. Of course then I kept thinking how bad it would be if we don't get him...we'll deal with that when we get to it. :)

The inner sanctum

Today I had to brief the Secretary of Defense's Military Assistant- who happens to be a three-star general. The cool bit is that I actually got to do it (with some of my compadres) and the boss people didn't have to come. His office was right next door to the SECDEF and is probably the closest I'll ever get to the man's office. I have to admit it was fairly cool!! The General seemed like a fairly good dude- even if he didn't know much about Africa. Everyone has to learn sometime!

Now this was a great African adventure...

I just got back from a trip to Uganda, central Africa, and Germany. I'm entirely exhausted!! Too many timezones does not do a body good. It was such a good trip though! I got to fly around Central African jungles in a tiny six-seater bush plane- and I nerded out about it- it was pretty awesome!! I stayed overnight with our fine men in uniform in what is affectionately known as, "the bush" and got one night of that "deployment" experience. I tell you- it was cool for a night, but I'm really glad I didn't have to do it for more than that. The food is not good. The toilet is far away. The toilet is a hole in the ground. You have to check the hole for snakes. You have a shovel to protect yourselves from snakes while you are using the hold. There's no real protecting from other African critters. The guys deployed are pretty stinking funny though. I think you would have to have a sense of humor for a deployment like this. They're also an amazingly sharp group of people who like to show off their quality toilet facilities. Kudos to the military complex because they did something right with these folks. I got out to visit them all to see what they're doing and understand the various issues (it's an annoyingly complicated problem set). It helps me do my job better and that we're actually helping them and reinforcing their efforts from DC. Here some pictures!

My fancy accomodations...the guys were nice enough to string up a piece of cloth to make a little privacy for me.

Me and the South Sudanese military- they weren't a real talkative bunch...but friendly enough.

Accomodations for the South Sudanese

This is what triple canopy jungle looks like from the sky...it's a little difficult to find someone in this....

This is what triple canopy jungle looks like on the ground...nuts!

Jungle-style toilet...an adventure all on its own.

5-star jungle accomodations for our guys

Not a river- awesome African roads

My awesome ride and my State Department compadre

It's a crazy place but beautiful in its own way. :)

There is such a thing as a cheese hangover

(p.s. this kid looks like a total cheese gremlin...it totally captures how I feel about the cheese.) :) For my birthday, I went to my version of a bar...a place called the Cheesetique. I figure it's kind of similar to a bar- you go and consume stuff that you know isn't the greatest for you, but it's so good you just can't help yourself. Then the next morning- you just don't feel so great. (not that I have any experience with anything but Diet Coke at the bar- but that's what my friends tell me!) Yea- that was me today. So the ridiculous bit is that I'm actually allergic to a milk protein, but I LOVE cheese! So the Cheesetique is a boutique of cheese that has a restaurant in the back. So for dinner, we started out with a cheeseboard with three different kinds of cheese. Then I split a grilled cheese sandwich and some macaroni and cheese with a friend. Then for dinner I had a slice of key lime pie. So...much...cheese...yea it was a rough day at work. Stomach gremlin was less than pleased. That's ok- it made for a fun birthday!!